“Enjoy The Little Things In Life Because One Day You’ll Look Back And Realize They Were The Big Things”
Kurt Vonnegut
So, holiday time has come around again!
It’s a time I really treasure. Filled with connection, precious memories, and time to physically and metaphorically ‘get away’. Like dropping the caseload of daily life, the tasks and pressures. And walking barefoot across the metaphorical beach; leisurely, with no haul to carry, and heading in no particular direction.
I’m so grateful for our family holidays. I feel genuinely lucky for this time we get together, and I’m trying to instil that in the boys – not to take it for granted.
I feel like a softened, easier version of myself on holiday. But what causes that? The gratitude? ‘Holiday mode’? Taking a digital detox? Physically being somewhere different? Maybe a combination of them all.
Carrying the load of pre-holiday worry
But this time of year doesn’t necessarily come easily.
The weeks, days and hours leading up to it produces escalating senses of worry and apprehension. With a subsequent by-product of such anxiety causing an irrational need for me to clean the house!? I have been known to be hyperactively mopping the floors as I’m ushering everyone out the door!
And then there’s the anxiety around travel. This has always been an issue for me, but not one I’ve always recognised. Even as a child I’d worry about journeys, almost as if holding my breath the whole way.
Being the daughter of a lorry driver, I spent 40 years fearing my dad would be taken from me this way. That retention of breath not released until the day he retired.
So the travel part is definitely a difficulty. And then like most people I imagine, it takes a while to switch off. It doesn’t happen instantly.
And then I ‘landed‘
This time, I was wholly aware of it… it was exactly 24 hours after arriving. I was sitting on the beach watching ‘S’ and the boys down by the water, playing and happy.
The blue canopy of the sky. The warm golden sun shimmering flecks across the turquoise sea. Believe it or not I was in Northumberland, not some exotic island in the Maldives (I wish!!). Nevertheless, a picturesque backdrop to a personally-perfect scene.
And then it happened, I relaxed! Physically symbolised with a full, deep breath, and expelled with a satisfying sigh.
Seeking splendour
Whilst on holiday I find it inherently easier to see the beauty and awe in things. I seem to notice and appreciate more. Maybe I’m naturally more in the moment? More mindful of my surroundings? Less occupied by my thoughts and therefore allowing my senses to take centre stage?
Now staycations in the UK are always weather-dependent, of course! But accepting this wager and finding ways to work around it, we’ve found some beautiful places here.
Like the breath-taking beauty of the Yorkshire countryside. The golden stretches of beach in Norfolk. The views from the Lake District hilltops. And the quaint beauty of Devon and Cornwall.
And within the escapades are the precious moments we’ve been lucky enough to observe.
Like watching bats circling above us on the sand dunes at dusk.
Watching ‘A’ crawling across the pebbled beach as a toddler.
‘E’ throwing a message in a bottle into the sea … only for it to be found further up the coast, unbelievably by someone living just 4 miles away from us at home, on holiday in the same place at the same time!
Climbing the steep circular steps of Happisburgh lighthouse.
Numerous steam train rides through rural landscapes.
Ramblings to striking waterfalls.
Tiddler fishing on a riverbank in the Dales.
To the profound sense of ‘home’ I get from the North Yorkshire Moors. Or the comforting accent of the Northeast making me feel close to my nan.
I do believe nature is a healer. It feels restorative, replenishing and relaxing.
It just feels good. It doesn’t need to be explained, defined or detailed, just felt.
The reality
Now, this could all seem like picture-perfect expeditions from a holiday brochure… but we all know life is not really like that! These are micro moments within the everyday chaos!
And this year’s holiday was not without its challenges. Like the anxiety already mentioned. The usual sibling bickering. Too many late nights and consequential bad moods. The guilt of being insufficiently skilled at sun cream application, resulting in sunburn on ‘A’s back. And then the hardest thing this year was leaving our dog behind for the first time.
For the past 12 years, since we carried her home wrapped in a blanket as a puppy, we’ve always holidayed in this country with her. She’s like a third (albeit rather hairy) child. She loves the adventures. She’s the epitome of a family dog.
However, ageing (even in canine form) comes with its aches and pains. And she’s recently been struggling a bit. Some good days and some bad.
So, a few days before we went, we had to make that dreaded decision of whether to take her with us or leave her behind.
Hoping beyond hope we’d made the best decision for her.
We all felt the heartbreak of leaving her behind at my mum and dads. As we drove away without her for the first time, proceeding onwards to our summertime getaway.
There were a few tears in the car, and heaviness in our chests. But as with all difficult situations, I tried to glimpse the sunlight through the dark clouds. For me, this was reminding myself that she was with my mum and dad. She was somewhere familiar and comfortable, well-loved and looked after.
Also, this will be first time we can do things not usually possible when having a dog in tow.
Like taking the boys to places which don’t allow dogs (Alnwick Castle being at the top of my list).
Not having to dash out first thing in the morning on a doggy-toilet-run.
All four of us being able to browse a shop at the same time!
And having one less body to keep under surveillance – unbelievable how much calmer our expeditions were.
So, although there was a sense of sadness and something missing, we attempted to clutch onto the things we were grateful for that week. And of course the reunion was delightful. Filled with endless licks (her to us). Tummy rubs (us to her). And some posh black pudding treats (definitely all hers)!
If you want to find out more about managing holiday anxiety, please click here, this site has some helpful information and advice (reviewed by Dr Sarah Jarvis MBE).