I Get To…
Some things in life can feel like endless daily chores… until we have a reason to view them differently, through the eyes of gratitude…
“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
Anaïs Nin
As part of my post-cancer care, I recently went for a routine scan and examination, and was told, “Everything looks fine… we can’t find anything of concern!”
WELL, I’LL FLIPPING TAKE THAT THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!
Once you have a cancer diagnosis, it stays with you, like the indelible mark of a tattoo – physically and figuratively:
I have the 9 inch scar from the surgery…
I have the small purplish-red mark where the PICC line was inserted for my chemotherapy treatment…
And the faint shading left by radiotherapy…
But I wear these scars with pride!
They remind me of the life I’m living!
They remind me of the challenges I’ve faced!
They remind me that I’m human, and to make it through this life, we will undoubtedly accrue some beautiful imperfections along the way…
But I also have the permanent mark of gratitude…
I’ve been branded with a new mentality…
I now live with much less fear… and I’m not talking about grand existentialism here people, I’m talking about basic fears like the fear of making a fool of myself, the fear of getting things wrong… the fear of failure… (I’ve never been a confident, extroverted type so this is quite a turn-up for the books!)
I sat for a moment as I journaled the following morning, and reflected…
I allowed myself to gently imagine an alternative outcome…
I carefully envisioned and felt what that could have looked like… just briefly.
And then I did some breathing exercises to let it go, like a cloud of smoke dissipating into the distance… and I returned to the present!
Then, I could truly feel gratitude!
To sit in peace and happiness for a few minutes and let the thankfulness wash over me… lighting every cell within me and radiating out…
I am so unbelievably grateful!
And yet, I don’t believe I could have experienced this level of gratitude if I hadn’t before been on the other side – the darker side!
“Darkness And Light Are Only Meaningful In Relationships With Each Other. Without One, The Other Wouldn’t Exist.”
Rick Rubin
And as I went through the rest of my day, the warm glow of appreciation accompanied me…
Coming home with a smile, embracing Steve with a grateful sigh, and although I was exhausted from a long day of waiting around at the hospital, I had a quiet energy within me… the spark of contentment 💫
I got to come home and carry on… as mum!
I got to slot back into our family routine…
I got to take the boys for an evening swim… one where I looked out over the crowded pool with awe and enthusiasm, instead of my usual self-consciousness, desperately trying to recall when I last shaved my legs, and bracing myself for the icy plunge!
Instead, I welcomed it with open arms, I was so happy I almost felt like running in (sorry, ‘NO running on the poolside!’), blowing party streamers and dive bombing (sorry ‘NO bombing in the pool!’) my way in…
But it made me realise something really significant in the words I wrote… three simple, easily overlooked words: “I GET TO…”
Instead of dreading a dip in the freezing cold pool –
I GET TO take my boys swimming…
Instead of feeling weary about parental responsibility, figuring out what to have for tea and the arduous bedtime routines – I GET TO be a mum… I GET TO enjoy feeding my family (cheese sandwiches and plain pasta for A, but still!)… I GET TO tuck my boys into bed and kiss them goodnight!
There is something to be said for flipping the script and looking at such monotonous daily tasks with the awe of gratitude, and three simple words, “I GET TO…”
What do you ‘GET TO’ do in your life?
Share them in the comments below…
Or why not message me here:
Until next time, take care and much love,
Julie x
I get to read this and be your friend 💛
Honestly it’s like you heard my conversation today I had with another friend about sharing parental responsibility. The fact that she doesn’t hold anger towards an absent dad, she “gets to” have the times with their son. He doesn’t get to. How wonderful is that. To flip the script in a time of challenge and be grateful.