“We Take Care Of Ourselves So We Can Take Care Of Each Other”
Adriene Mishler
I did just that this morning!
I was dashing around as usual of a morning, trying to get through as much as humanly possible before the ‘main events’ of the day.
I was fed, dressed, ready to go, silently running through a mental list of potential accomplishments before the start of the ‘working day’.
This morning’s list included: conquering the mountainous pile of pots by the kitchen sink, doing some yoga and meditation, and baking something to take to my mum and dads later… ultimately flinging myself into the future before the day had barely begun!
And then a wild idea struck me …
What if I just STOP … and take a minute?
So I did!
I perched myself on the kitchen worktop, cradling a (hot!) cup of coffee, looking out over the garden … and I just took 5 quiet minutes of doing nothing!
Steve was at work… the boys were still in bed … it was so peaceful.
And my goodness it felt GOOD!
And I realised I need to remind myself that it's OK to take a minute during the day to just stop and catch my breath, slow down my racing mind… (and here’s the clincher…) not feel guilty about it!
I realised that I rarely pause to take a minute during the day, especially on days like today when I wake up in a bit of a low mood.
I’m so consumed by the ‘doing’!
I love the sense of achievement that comes from ticking off tasks on my to-do list… an ever-growing catalogue of post-it notes slapped on the fridge!
Attempting to overpower the possibility of the low mood consuming me, fighting off the advancing black dog with my weapon of chores and errands!
I get on with things… hurling myself into the bustle, keeping busy so it doesn’t receive the attention it craves.
But today, for some reason, I just decided to stop and take a minute before the day got chaotic with the usual conundrum of family life.
Welcome realisation
And as I sat there I realised that actually if I just pause for a tranquil moment of peace (and let’s face it how often do we find those moments in our hectic days?!), grab it while I can, and actually take a moment now… I might be more productive (yet calmer) during the day!
I may find I’m more patient…
I might be more efficient…
Maybe even have a more positive and brighter day…
Just for taking a bit of time for myself… even if it is literally a few minutes!
I think I need to be more aware of this, and listen to what I need in that very moment.
For some reason today, that little message was flashing on the notice board of my awareness… and I actually paid attention to it.
I went with it.
Maybe moments like this are regularly being screamed down a megaphone of self-discipline, but I’m just too blinkered to hear it?
I recently read an inspiring story by Björn Natthiko Lindeblad, who sums it up perfectly:
“…Find moments of stillness in our everyday lives, in whatever way makes sense to us. It's an amazing ability, worth nurturing. If we don't, our attention will invariably be drawn to whatever shouts the loudest at any given moment. That leads to drama. That leads to conflict. That leads to anxiety and unhappiness…” (Lindeblad, 2020, p.52)
So, note to self: It’s OK to take a few minutes for myself, and more than that, there is no need to feel guilty about it! (Hopefully with a bit of practice this part will get easier!)
And in the meantime, I’ll remind myself that maybe taking a bit of time for ‘me’ will actually benefit everyone else too, it could just turn out to be a rare win-win situation!