The UNEXPECTED Thing I Learned From A Social Media Break

And it’s probably not what you think. Instead of refreshing and positive, it was actually quite the opposite…

The Real Voyage Of Discovery Consists Not In Seeking Out New Landscapes But In Having New Eyes

Marcel Proust

Photo by Xavi Cabrera on Unsplash

I’M BACK!!

So, I’m back after taking a little hiatus from the social media world.

I thought it would be good for me, a little ‘virtual’ detox…

A chance to tune inward for a few weeks…

Recalibrate…. realign… recharge… reset… and reconnect with myself.

And I guess in some small way it has been these things, but there has been another, more striking and completely unexpected realisation…

Social media is a part of my mental wellbeing toolkit!

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Taking a step back… in more ways than one

Every so often (usually when I’m feeling overwhelmed, rocky or just generally full to capacity) I take a break from my phone - go completely off grid for a couple of days… and oh my it is so refreshing!

Like metaphorically taking a deep cleansing breath of fresh air after being holed up in a cave (or teenagers fusty bedroom) for months!

It gives me headspace, increasing my capacity, both mentally and emotionally.

It leaves me feeling rejuvenated, revitalised and re-energised.

Like the opposite to being plugged into a power supply;

I UNPLUG to RECHARGE

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So, I thought, well let’s take that up a notch.

Instead of just breaking up with my phone for a few days, lets break up with social media for a few weeks… imagine how reinvigorated I will feel after that, right?!

Well, NO, actually…

I published a final post; neon letters screaming see you next month, and I logged out of my socials.
I knew if I stayed logged in, I would be too tempted to have a quick peek, or the mounting curiosity of notifications would get the better of me…
(Come to think of it, I hope I can remember all my passwords, or I may be on a lifetime break-up and this cunning plan has just backfired, big time!)

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Two weeks in

At the time of drafting this post, I’m three weeks deep…

And a few days ago, something struck me… my mood had dropped significantly.

My motivation was on the floor… along with my chin.

I felt the opposite to how I expected; Instead of feeling rejuvenated and reenergised, I felt static… stuck… and down.

And then it occurred to me…

Social media is a part of my self-care toolkit.

This is something I NEVER expected to hear myself saying.
And, if I’m completely honest, I never wanted to hear myself saying.

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Aren’t we always being told that social media is bad for us?

Had I just got so caught up in the negative conversation that I didn’t allow myself to recognise the positive effects it was having on me? And it took me to step away to see it.

The term ‘Doomscrolling’ is bandied about with such regularity.

It gives connotations of negativity… villainy… destruction… ruin and downfall to all of social media.

The lines between ‘healthy’ and ‘unhealthy’ social media relationships get blurred.

And like anything in life, we need to assess it in context…

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Circumstances and Algorithms

If you’re compulsively searching through your socials in times of stress, depression and anxiety, trawling through unhelpful content or reaching for unrealistic comparisons then this is likely to only heighten negativity.

And social media should never be a replacement for IRL connections to others.

It does, however, provide us with a unique opportunity to connect with people physically located too far away, or people we would never have come across without the virtual world:

• I get to still feel a part of my best friend’s daily life through images and videos she shares online, even though she now lives 4000 miles away!

• I’ve found the incredible knowledge and influence of Dr Julie, who I wouldn’t have known about if it weren’t for her presence on social media!

• I wouldn’t be writing a book or have connected with over 100 incredible trauma warriors if it weren’t for finding Perry Power on Instagram!

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We need to be receptive to the details; the ‘what’, ‘when’ and ‘how long’.

Is it just habit?

Is it helping or hindering?

Is there a better alternative right now?

And algorithms

A word I hear all the time, but have to admit I’ve never been overtly confident I know exactly what it means!

Basically, social media sites track what we’re looking at and create a personalised calculation of what content it thinks we are more likely to engage with, and even prioritises certain videos on our feed.

It wants to keep us engaged for longer, which is why we often go on to ‘have a quick look’ and before we know it, 30 minutes has passed (yet somehow I can’t seem to find 30 minutes to do that quick HIT workout first thing in the morning or clean the oven!?)

This personalised experience can be a bonus or a torment;

Great if you’re receiving positive, inspiring and helpful content…

Not so great when we’re drawn into that one unfavourable or sensationalist post, like driving past an accident, not wanting to look but somehow you just… can’t…. help… it…

The good news is you can reset your algorithm!
And it’s simple to do, especially on Instagram and TikTok.

Want to see more positive, uplifting and inspiring content? Reset your algorithm and go in search of what you want to see more of…

For me, this comes in the form of:

• Suzy Reading for comforting and supportive words of wisdom that feel like a warm hug from a friend. She offers practical exercises to relieve stress and tension, regular videos and interactive lives. She’s the saviour of self-care.
  

• Anna Mathur for down-to-earth and real parenting. She tells us how it is; How we all know it is, but are often too afraid to share it. She makes sure we see that no matter who we are, we all feel and experience the realness of life - a girl after my own heart!
  

• Dominique Ludwig for the best nutrition advice. She gives helpful, layman-terms science behind foods and nutrition alongside delicious recipes. She has the ability to get you starving for salads and hungry for healthy foods!
  

• Simple Habit, Vex King and Rebecca Dennis for all the mood health content…
  

• And of course, we all need those that make us laugh and release those feel-good endorphines, like George Lewis.

To name a few…

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What about our kids

And for those parents out there who are as bewildered and panicked as me about helping our children navigate all of this (even though in reality it’s probably our kids who are teaching US about the ins and out of social media, we’re just telling ourselves we’re in the driving seat), there’s an incredible site called ‘Positive Social’ who share helpful and valuable content about helping our children to have a positive relationship with social media.

From visiting schools to free online sessions for parents, teacher testimonials and a really interesting and informative blog.

I’ve been on a couple of the parent sessions and they were fantastic! Non-judgemental (hallelujah), realistic and really helpful!

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The startling conclusion

The aim was to get some healthy and constructive respite from the online world…
to relight my creativity…
to increase my psychological and emotional capacity…
provide space for ideas, improve my motivation and positivity…

Yet it’s made me realise that with a little careful management and a good measure of self-awareness, social media is providing me with a tool that I can utilise to help promote my mental health.

I hasten to add that social media is definitely not the main tool in my wellbeing toolkit, but more of a cheerleader, standing at the sidelines shouting words of encouragement and motivation. It’s a source of support, not a replacement for healthy daily habits.

I still plan to take smaller breaks from social media and my phone, but I now have a newfound affection, appreciation and awareness for the positives.

And I’ve missed this!

This sense of connection I feel from sharing these posts with you, whether you like, comment, DM or just take the time to read them, I feel it and genuinely value it, so thank you for being a cherished part of my self-care toolkit. I hope you feel it too 🤍

Take care and much love,

Julie x

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Why not get in touch, I’d love to hear from you…

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