Just be…
This week’s post is about taking advantage of those sweet moments where we get to just sit and settle with our kids… even when it’s not as easy as it sounds!
“Connection Feeds The Individual Soul And Fuels The Heart Of The Family”
Suzy Reading
You’ll probably be glad to hear that I’m keeping it short and sweet this week, after my long and heavy post last time (about my cancer diagnosis).
So… I had a beautiful moment last week with ‘E’, our eldest.
I was busy bustling around doing… well goodness knows what?! (Probably picking clothes up off the floor 🤨 or re-organising the cupboard where all the Tupperware gets launched – I mean why do they not just stack neatly?!?!)
Anyway, I saw ‘E’ sat on the sofa watching telly, and I just had this urge to go and sit with him… so I did!
I walked over, without saying a word, and sat beside him, maybe gave him a quick hug or shoulder rub, and then… just sat there!
And do you know what happened?
After a couple of minutes, he shifted position to lay his head on my shoulder! ❤️
(Not a regular gesture of affection from an 11-year-old who’s just started ‘big school’ let me tell you!!)
Anyway, we just sat there, in blissful contentment for a while, watching ‘Young Sheldon’ (‘E’s current favourite Netflix show).
Now, as simple as this sounds, it wasn’t actually that easy…
I always feel the need to be doing something.
I struggle to just sit still (and this is where meditation has really helped me – it practically forces me to be ‘still’ for a while, and gives my brain some much-needed rest!)
And…
I always feel the need to be saying or doing something when I’m with the boys! (Is this the parent in me? Always being the guide, the mentor, the coach AND the rule-enforcer?!)
So, just to sit there quietly and share ‘E’s space was something I had to consciously commit to (persistently batting off the little voices in my head saying, “is there a load of washing that needs putting on?”, “those pots aren’t gonna wash themselves you know!”, “Is it time to start dinner yet?”….).
But, and more importantly, I believe this quiet gesture communicated to ‘E’, “I’m here”… no strings, no anticipated transaction, just me, here with you, right now.
And it’s important to just be present.
To show our kids that we are available to them, and that we are interested in what they’re doing (even if, in all honesty, we’re not actually that concerned with learning the latest skins on Fortnight, who scored the best goal in the footie match, or watching coming of age TV programmes!)…
But it’s important to them.
Life gets so busy and hectic with daily schedules, jobs and chores, that sometimes taking a moment to just be, without any ulterior motive, speaks volumes to our children.
I need to remember to do it more often – just go and sit with the boys, be in their space for a little while, and see what happens…
That sitting still is super hard. I struggle too. Or even looking at my phone because whatever they are watching is super boring 😆. But it is important. How lovely 😍