Rest and Reset
This week’s post is all about taking time for YOU… when was the last time you had ‘Rest’ to ‘Reset’?
Beautiful Days Do Not Come To You. You Must Walk Towards Them.
Rumi
So, Steve and I escaped for a couple of days last week!
We ran away… to a treehouse!
48 hours, just the two of us… nature… books… peace & quiet… afternoon naps (embracing our inner elderlies)… good food (no moaning about what was for tea)… and perhaps a bottle of wine (or two)…
And it was incredible… the most amazing two days ever, and for one reason… it was sooooo needed!!
A tough 12-months
We’ve now had…
· 12 months of being under the ‘cancer cloud’… of the life we knew being pulled from under us, shaken about and launched into outer space…
· 12 months of constant hospital appointments…
· 12 months of treatment: surgery, chemo, radiotherapy, drugs and injections…
· 12 months of a circuit breaker interrupting our connection because we had too much going on emotionally, we just didn’t have capacity…
· 12 months of ‘non-parenting’ (I hasten to add this is me ‘non-parenting’ because poor Steve has not only had to hold down a taxing full-time job, working 12-hour shifts, including nights, supporting me physically, mentally and emotionally, taking charge of all the parenting, supporting the boys, doing 99% of the housework AND somehow trying to tend to his own needs in amongst all of that…!!)
Because getting life-changing news doesn’t just affect you… in that moment… it affects every aspect of yours and your family’s life; from emotionally to financially, from capacity and relationships to work and normal activities…
So, yeah we were in desperate need of a break… some time to “rest and reset”.
48 idyllic hours
So, we arrived Wednesday evening, and within minutes of pulling up, we’d witnessed two flashes of turquoise streak before us, as a pair of Kingfishers flew by, like the Red Arrows; blink and you miss them, but offering a burst of colour and awe that lasts for days!
I took this as a sign from the universe that I was meant to be there, in that moment.
Keeping it real 🤘🏻
However… I was not feeling great after starting some new drugs just a couple of days before, and I felt pretty unwell Wednesday night!
Thankfully though, I took what I needed… (eventually) I relented, and wobbled to the sofa mid-way through dinner to take a lie-down!
I was asleep by 8.30 pm, woke up feeling utterly horrendous, muttered something completely incoherent at Steve and crawled off to bed – not quite the way I’d intended to start our little get-away… but keeping it real!
How often in daily life do we allow ourselves to recognise and take what we need when we need it?
Thankfully, I woke up much brighter the next day, headache and nausea having eased somewhat, and we had the most blissful Thursday.
Which got off to the perfect start… we had a lie-in! An actual lie-in! We slept until we woke up… like naturally!
Not listening out for signs of life from the boys’ bedrooms, a cat meowing at the top of her lungs for breakfast or a geriatric Labrador whining to go out (or even worse… having not made it out!!!).
We literally did what we wanted, when we wanted, and didn’t look at our watches the entire day!
We sat on the balcony watching the mallards and moorhens swimming up and down the pond… a family of wrens whistling to each other as they rummaged for insects in the plants below… we read books in the middle of the day… drank tea while it was still hot(!)…
It was like time slowed down…
I felt relaxed… and calm… and content…
And thankfully the ‘weather prophets’ got it wrong again, and instead of grey clouds and showers, we were treated to bursts of sunshine that lit up the landscape in a mesmerising glow.
Nature has such restorative powers… it can be grounding… healing… calming… inspiring… and comforting.
When did you last pause from the chaos of daily life to recharge?
I think for most of us it’s actually really hard to do!
We have so many responsibilities… pressures… worries… or that crippling feeling of guilt for doing something for ‘us’!
And I’m no exception!
I almost cancelled this trip because I had too many pangs of guilt…
· I felt guilty leaving the boys…
· I felt guilty (and anxious) leaving our 14-year-old Labrador for two days…
· I felt guilty leaving my mum and dad in charge of two energetic boys, and two elderly pets that are both completely deaf and partially sighted (you can imagine the ‘fun and games’ we have in our house currently!?)
· I felt guilty spending money on me and Steve that right now could be used for so many other expenses (the social construct of money is a HUGE bugbear of mine right now… but that would be an essay if I got started!)
BUT
Goodness me, I am so unbelievably grateful that we had this opportunity and did actually go!!
And I’ve come to realise that some things are greater than their monetary value!
I’ve had many conversations with friends recently about ‘money’… a worry about spending it… a worry about saving it… a worry about earning it… a worry about a lack of it…
So many of us are getting ‘tighter’ and seeing less for our money each month, there’s no doubt that expenses are rising exponentially… but oh if only wages would concur!
So we’re becoming more cautious about spending money. We’re becoming conditioned to make sure we have as much as possible to ‘show’ for our spending… to justify it!
But I’ve been thinking recently about all the things I’ve possibly missed out on… all the experiences and memories lost because of the precedence I’ve assigned to the pounds and pennies… to the pre-programmed and impulsive decider “but how much will it cost?”
Oh look, here comes that blissful balance again!
We need to strive for a beautiful balance between having financial security and knowing it’s OK to spend money on ‘experiences’.
Realising that sometimes (not all the time) spending money can gift us beautiful memories and experiences that will last a lifetime… Can give us more than the actual time and money that we invest in that moment.
For instance, 48 hours away gave me:
· a quieter mind that had the capacity to get creative and generate ideas for my writing…
· permission to stop and slow down…
· the replenishing benefits of being in nature…
· it gave me and Steve that good ole ‘quality time’ time together to reconnect and nourish our relationship…
· and it gave me a sense of calm and ease that lasted for days… well until the sibling arguments and animal noises (from the cat and dog, not the boys!) slowly seeped back into my awareness…!
So, yes, it was money we felt guilty (and nervous) about spending, but it was healing and valuable in so many ways that we could not put a price on it!
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying go out and spend money you don’t have or bankrupt your savings for the sake of one holiday, and I know many of us are lucky to manage a day out let alone two days away, but perhaps sometimes we could be just a fraction more mindful about what we can ‘manage’ and what it may actually ‘give’ us (money-calculations aside)!
And it doesn’t have to be a week or even a day, maybe just a couple of hours… some time away from the house - because when we physically remove ourselves from our usual, daily environment; the jobs, the never-ending to-do lists and the endless responsibilities, to do something JUST for ‘us’, it gives us so many benefits that last… it gives us more capacity, more patience, more resilience… greater wellbeing!
And if you’re still struggling with the guilt of taking time for ‘you’, then remember this:
It not only serves you but it benefits those around you too 💞
Why not say “hi” or share your thoughts and comments here, I’d love to hear from you:
I’m so glad you got away. It’s a good way to reset the brain. I didn’t realise how much I needed the holiday I had in May. Hubby stayed home so I didn’t get to share the moments with him. I came back a different person.
Wow Julie, this little getaway sounds amazing, just what you both needed!
I'm so glad you went. 🥰