Left Behind
This week we’re sinking into the blissful world of dreams… to discover that things are not always what they seem.
“The Unconscious Is The Dark Being Within That Hears What Our Conscious Ears Do Not Hear, And Sees What Our Conscious Eyes Do Not Perceive… We Only Become Aware Of This Unheard Hearing, This Unseen Seeing, When The Unconscious Sends Us These Forgotten Images In Dreams.”
Carl Jung
So, I keep having this recurring dream – I’m back at uni (YEY) but everyone disregards me (BOO).
Everyone just seems to be carrying on without acknowledging me… People I know, lecturers, they all just go about their business, and I’m feeling left out and insignificant.
This dream transpires in a slightly different scenario each time, but I’ve had it four times now!? My little ‘Inside Out’ characters are really trying to tell me something! (If you haven’t seen ‘Inside Out’ I highly recommend it, no matter what age you are!)
In reality,
… should my dream come true and I find myself back at uni, surrounded by my uni friends and lecturers, I know I would feel the exact opposite to how I did in my dream.
First of all, my friends from uni are the most wonderful group of human beings. During the whole three years I never once felt left out.
And even now, nearly six months after finishing, we’re still in touch, and still there for each other, this amazing bunch of people are the kind of people I’m so grateful to have on my side!
And the lecturers were so inspirational… compassionate… caring… welcoming and nurturing. This was more than a ‘teaching job’, they invested a real and genuine interest in all of us individually; I still can’t comprehend how they even had capacity to do that.
So what is my dream trying to tell me???
Now, this is not as straight forward as it may seem!
Initially, I kept thinking my dream is making me acknowledge how I’m currently feeling stuck and left behind while others are getting on with life… makes sense right?
But…
Dreams are beautifully intricate.
Extraordinarily multi-layered.
And fascinatingly complex.
They often symbolise so much more than is apparently presented.
Dreams are known to be a ‘reflective tool’ (aha wondered why I’m so fascinated by them!!?? Read "The Downfall Of Being A Reflective Person" here).
It’s your subconscious mind independently presenting something to your conscious.
As Carl Jung stated:
“Dreams Are Messages Sent Up From The Unconscious.”
And Sigmund Freud suggested:
”The Interpretation Of Dreams Is The Royal Road To Knowledge Of The Unconscious Activities Of The Mind.”
However, Freud did believe that we’re not ‘emotionally’ connected when we dream, whereas Yalom (a renowned psychiatrist who often helps his clients decipher meaning in their dreams to assist their therapeutic process) believes the most important aspect of a dream is the feelings and emotions connected to it.
So join me as I attempt to interpret my dream!
Now I love a worksheet!
Give me some evaluation questions and I’m pretty content (You can take Julie out of student status, but you can’t take the student out of Julie!!)
So I found a (rather detailed) Dreamwork Worksheet.
Now this worksheet is particularly DEEP! (Carry it out at your peril!) It even came with its own detailed comprehensive guide!
It took me a few sessions over a couple of days to complete, but OH MY GOODNESS, the underlying message I unearthed – HOLY MOLY… I was NOT expecting that!
Here’s a whistle-stop tour of my dream analysis:
DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM
The first part, rather obviously, is to write down your dream.
It’s suggested to do this as soon as possible after waking up because that’s when we recall the most information.
It’s important to try and capture as much detail as you can (no matter how seemingly insignificant), go through the dream from start to finish, as much as you can remember.
So, the version of my recurring dream, this time, went a little something like this:
“I’m at uni, with a lot of people from my cohort.
They’re all starting their Masters Degree, but I’m not.
Yet I’m still there with them.
I tag along, feeling like a bit of an imposter.We go to the classroom.
Everyone has workbooks but I don’t have anything with me.
The lecturers join us, but none of them acknowledge me.I feel so out of place that I leave.
But then I can’t find my way home.
Lots of people are coming in the opposite direction.
It’s confusing and unfamiliar.”
ASSOCIATIONS
Next record any feelings and metaphors within the dream and notice any associations to your real life, or memories, that are brought to mind.
“I felt lonely, left out, insignificant…
I felt like I was being left behind and forgotten about.
I felt out of place, like I didn’t belong there anymore.It brought up memories of being a child, painfully shy, left out and overlooked” (this was not intended to sound like a sob story – I’m fine people, I survived school, I have friends and people do invite me to join in with their games these days 🙃).
”I felt like everyone else was competent and had what they needed to move on with their lives.”
In real life, I guess I do feel a little left behind, you see my intended path has been (momentarily) bulldozered.
My plans of working and building a career (and we know how much I like a good plan!! If not, find out here) have been put on hold.
I am not where I expected to be by October 2023, and so yes I guess I do feel a little left behind.
CHOOSE AN IMAGE, OBJECT OR FIGURE
Now, here is where things begin to get interesting!!
You choose something from your dream that seems significant and keeps drawing your attention.
For me, it was the uni classroom!
The classroom, is a recurring aspect of these dreams.
Anyway, this part takes some creativity and playfulness… bear with it!
You answer a series of questions from the point of view of your image, object or figure!
At first I was like “Wait, what now?! How do I answer questions as a ‘CLASSROOM’?!”
But seriously, have a chuckle and stick with me…
Things that came up in response to the questions, in the role of said ‘classroom’:
“I am contained and private.
I provide shelter, and a place to learn and explore.
I love it when people come together under my roof.
But I do not like unwelcome or uninvited visitors.
I fear that I will be mis-used and damaged.
I want people to reach their full potential!”
Now, as I was writing my answers things didn’t make much sense. Like ‘providing shelter’ – why would a classroom provide shelter!? But go with it, say what comes up, because you’ll see next actually how it makes perfect sense…
REAL LIFE
So, this part gets you to re-do the previous step but from the perspective of your real life.
Re-read the statements, but relating them to elements of your life:
‘I am contained and private’, represents me as a person.
‘To provide shelter, and a place to learn and explore’, represents my responsibility as a mum.
‘I love it when people come together under my roof’, represents how important family is to me.
‘I do not like unwelcome or uninvited visitors’, represent a current health issue I’m dealing with.
‘Fear that I will be mis-used and damaged’, represents the effects of this health issue.
‘I want people to reach their full potential’, represents my desires to fulfil my career dreams!
So, what does this actually mean?!
Well, from what I can decipher, I am currently dealing with some health issues which is affecting all aspects of my life.
My role as a mum, to protect and guide my boys, to encourage and teach and nurture them.
And to be honest I’m harbouring a whole lot of guilt at the minute about how I’m actually achieving ‘NON-PARENTING’; from a complete lack of house rules (and damn it I like rules!), porridge and plain pasta for tea on repeat, to me being in bed before them most nights and so goodness know what their bedtime routine is like when Steve’s at work and I’m in the land of nod by 8pm!
(Honestly, so much content here it may materialise into its own post!)
And my current health issue is an aspect in my life which I don’t want (I mean come on who actually does), and it’s forced me to take a different path to the one I had planned.
And finally, I have a deep desire to make something of my passion of writing!
But how do I know this is actually what it means?
… you may ask, and I don’t blame you!
The truth is … I don’t!
But then maybe it doesn’t matter?
If we interpret a dream in a way that is going to benefit us, then maybe that’s the right interpretation anyway?
Maybe it’s OK not to have all the answers?
Maybe it’s more about faith in the process.
SOLUTION FOCUSSED
Now, here’s the important part – using what’s come up in the analysis to find positive and helpful ways to move forward!
For me, my solution incorporates me changing my current perspective.
I think I need to accept my current situation and find a way of moving forward, on an alternative path, with optimism and gratitude.
Perhaps instead of thinking of all the things I don’t have, or of not being at the place I was hoping to be right now, I could alternatively put my energy into something more positive… like writing.
See it as an opportunity – that I’ve been given time to write, and when will that ever happen again?
Time… and energy… and sole focus, to concentrate on my passion… something that makes me happy!
“Once You Replace Negative Thoughts With Positive Ones, You’ll Start Having Positive Results”
Willie Nelson
IMPORTANT NOTE:
If you do decide to do some dream analysis of your own, please take care to look after your wellbeing. If anything arises for you that is difficult, please reach out to someone: a trusted friend, partner, relative, or professional – see the helpful links tab.
DON’T struggle, you’re not alone 💗